Tram inspectors

Has there ever been a time when u wanted to carry something out but in the end you chickened out or changed your mind? Yes, by the title of this post its quite obvious that I wanted to do something regarding tram inspectors, brilliant deduction sherlock holmes! Ever had this funny feeling? Whenever you do not have something, you do not want something to happen but when you do, you would want something to happen? Just like whenever you have an umbrella you want it to rain in order to make carrying the umbrella "worth it" while when you are not carrying one, you never want it to rain? Some thing for the tram inspectors. Whenever I do not have a tram ticket, I always wish: "damn those inspectors, don't come up don't come up!!" and keep a major lookout for them so I can do my ninja escape from them. Of course this is one of the major ways to differentiate between a person who bought a ticket and another who didn't. Well in the 2nd semester of my final year in Melbourne, I had to do extensive travelling for research purposes and thus I had a tram ticket with me all the time. Yes, call me bad all you want but I always wished to see a tram inspector coming up to catch people without tickets (and make them PAY!!!! MUAHAHAHA) cause they take up space and they are cheating the law for not paying for it!

So what I've always wanted to do is to play possum with those tram inspectors. For those who have never been to Melbourne, Australia or never met a tram inspector, this is how it goes. Bascially the inspector would say (in a typically robotic voice) "Ticket" and in the most rarest of occasions "Ticket pls". Yes, they do not say "Pls" normally because they are not well mannered and that is a topic I will not be delving into. Anyways, so if you do have, they will just move out and find their next victim. If you do not possess a ticket then thats when the drama starts, they would ask you to leave the tram and go down the stop and ask tell you some mundane information and ask some questions and later call someone you know with their handphones to verfiy your address.

What I've always wanted to do was to always pretend I didn't have a ticket and pretend to search my whole wallet for it while they wait (and presume that I do not have one). And I'll create the whole thing about I bought it already but I can't find it and I'm in a rush etc and finally pull out my ticket triumphantly and wave it in front of their noses and walk off. But sadly this has never happened as I chickened out all the time. Sure, call me big chicken but its really intimidating when a group of gorillas and baboons surround you and ask you for your ticket. Not to mention there is peer pressure as everyone else always hands in their ticket for those thugs to inspect. Perhaps if I ever go back to Melbourne, I'll act as a tourist. Wait a min, I will be a tourist. But anyways, I'll just pretend I do not know anything and just communicate to them in Chinese or something since they cannot understand it hee hee (and get off scott free!).

-p.s. WHOEVER is reading this blog. Do NOT carry out that plan too often as if there are too many "Chinese speaking" people, I'm very sure they will be hiring Chinese speaking inspectors very soon and my plan would fall apart.